What romance looks like – three kids, a mortgage, and a minivan later.

By: Teva Beasley

When I was single, I had grandiose ideas of what marriage and parenting should look like. Since I wasn’t demonstrated these things at home well, I decided I would just do the complete opposite and add a dash of a Hollywood romcom or two. Turns out real life doesn’t work that way and despite your best efforts, being a grown up is way tougher than anyone can prepare you for.Now that I am in a new decade, I am starting to TRY to appreciate what is right in front of me and not what I don’t have. Most of life hinges on perspective. So here is a list of what romance might look like after you say I do and the honeymoon is over:

1. A Husband in robe holding a crying child while cleaning dishes.

2. A husband who comes home from 12 hour shift to toast freezer waffles so you can get ten extra minutes of sleep.

3. A husband who remembers you like vinegar with your fries at Five Guys even though its been ages since you have been there or had any date at all.

4. A husband who wears our child in a carrier.

5. A husband who still grabs your jiggly bits even though they have gone quite a bit softer and farther south.

6. A husband who gives you the red and clear gummy bears out of the pack.

7. A husband who attends to your ugliest body malfunctions after childbirth.

8. A husband who remembers how you like your coffee and then brings it to you even if you will never drink the whole mug while it is hot because of a zillion screaming children.

9. A husband who keeps the kids busy while you put on your make up alone for two and a half minutes.

10. A husband who takes the diaper genie out after you have overstuffed it because you are just too exhausted to take the extra steps to the trash can.

I could do this all day folks. The fact is we are in a tough season with three little ones and never enough money to stretch or time to spend. The choice I’m faced with daily is to find the romance in this season in our real lives. The fact of the matter is the romance really is truer and sweeter because you have seen the worst of each other and you still choose to do the little selfless things to hint to the other that your vows still stand and you still find the other totally HOT!