By: Lily Maley
I became an unwed mom at 21. Of course, I don’t regret it at all. My daughter is a joy and I love her to pieces. She’s an incredible gift that God gave me. She is also the sole reason that I am married to the incredible man that I am married to today.
I never would have picked Matthew prior to being a mom and truth is that he would have never picked me. I was a typical fun-loving college girl that did not have a clear sense of purpose or understand who I was. I loved God but wasn’t sure what that really meant in the context of being a young adult. Then I got pregnant. I dated her father for a long time but when I became pregnant, he had no intention of being a family. So, I took on the challenge alone. I was afraid but I knew that love existed for us out there.
Being a mom changed my perspective about love and about life itself. It brought me closer to God and gave me a sense of purpose. I finished college while working and raising a baby, and when I began to seriously date, I was looking for something entirely different than what I had considered before. I was looking for a good man who had strong morals and principles. I wanted someone who was ready to commit to God and to building a family. I was dating to find deep commitment, someone who would be the rock of our family.
Beforehand, I was led by “feelings” but now, I had a clear sense of who I was and what I wanted. I signed up for Match.com, I began to look for someone who I could grow with for the rest of my life. I was searching for strong principles, an unweaving character and someone I could see as the role model for my kids. I was looking for someone who could mold me into a better person each day. I thought about Proverbs 27 where it talks about iron sharpening iron. When I started talking to Matthew. He was everything I wanted and more! We married just over a year after meeting and I am passionately in love with my amazing husband.
He is my rock and he is the rock of my family. He has adopted and adores my little girl as his daughter in every way. He shows me strength in everything he does. Now, heavily pregnant with our second child on high-risk bed rest, I’m watching him function essentially as a single dad: working, cooking, cleaning, parenting, and nursing me.
I truly believe that the issue with Millennials and marriage is that they have a “hook-up” mentality that lacks commitment. Commitment is what helps a relationships survive the trials of parenthood, unemployment, or long-term disability..etc. It wasn’t until my external circumstances made me reconsider what was important in a spouse that I realized what I genuinely needed something more than just a feeling to sustain me. While my journey has not always been easy, I am so thankful God changed by heart and sent me the perfect husband and father for my little family.